Monday, January 27, 2014

Life...

Today I read an interesting blog posted by an author that I really enjoy.  I haven't read a blog, by anyone really, for quite a while.  Said blog basically told a story of what I've dealt with in the last year.  It was like reading something from my own head, put in words, by someone else.  I was actually taken aback by it.  There, written on the internet, were my very own thoughts and feelings.

No, it wasn't exactly the same, and no, I don't know what that other author was going through in her life exactly, but the sentiment and feelings were much the same.  I have struggled over the last year with my writing and personal life as well.  Every person who blogs, be they an author, singer, entertainer in any way, or an awesome every day person who is telling their life tale, struggles with what to put on the internet.  Some put way more out there than anyone needs, and others don't put nearly enough out there for the world.

But, it is all down to the individual to decide what they share, and how much.  Or if they're going to share at all.  I have decided to share some.  I want to share what I can without seeming like a Downer Debbie.  I'm not complaining about my life in any way, or trying to justify my lack of getting books out to you, my readers.  I just want you to have a little perspective into my life so maybe you wont judge me too harshly for my lack of book.

My life in a nutshell is hectic.  For a few years, I was staying home with my young daughter and sick husband.  That's when I started writing.  I've always had all kinds of stories in my head.  As far back as I can remember, stories would jump to life while I looked out a window, ignoring the world around me.  When my husband got sick, I needed something to take me away from the horrible things we were going through.  It may sound somewhat heartless to say I needed an escape, but if you know anything about a loved one going through a tough sickness, you know that each person in the situation needs their own time and their own release.

Writing is what I used as an escape.  It allowed me to transport myself into these worlds that I'd thought about for years.  Some of them changed and grew as I changed and grew, but most stories in my head are ones I've thought about for years.  So, one day, I started writing them down.  That was the beginning of The Banishment Series.  They came from a time where I was sad and depressed about so many things that the only way to channel those feelings into something good was to write them down in a way that made sense to me.  I wrote, and one day, I gave Alone to a friend to read, just to see how she liked it.  She loved it and urged me to publish it.

Publishing, as most know, isn't easy.  It's damn near impossible to get a 'real' book deal any more.  That's when I learned about e-publish.  I decided to give it a crack.  The problem?  I still needed to have a book edited and someone to do the cover art.  Luckily, before my husband got sick, he was able to show me a few things on some computer programs that made creating a cover for Alone easier on me.  I just then needed to find an editor.

The problem with not working and staying home to take care of your sick husband and young child, you have little to no money to spend on things that aren't necessary.  Therefore, I had to be creative with who I got to edit my book.  I had a few friends go over it a few times, and I had a friend who did edits for companies and what not look at it as well.  But that was really it.

I decided to publish any way.  I've read more than my fair share of 'properly published' books and found all kinds of errors so I didn't really think much of it.  I also honestly didn't think any one was going to read my book.  I published because it was something I needed to do, for me.

I kept writing and finished the basic story for Healing, and Banishment.  But, like all people with a lot on their plate, life got in the way.  I wanted to edit and get Healing out, but life just kept getting in the way.  My family had many hardships it had to endure, losing people we loved, more people getting sick, and simple things like my house deciding it was going to fall apart around me, got in the way.

Healing, is done.  I cannot write any more in it, and it has been edited as much as it is ever going to be.  I cannot afford to have a 'real' editor look at it and all of my 'friends' that helped me last time are busy.  The friends I do have now are also too busy to help and that's okay.  People have their own lives and I'm not paying them to edit.  Healing will be released soon.  I just have to format it over for Smashwords and it will be available.  I will let you all know when that is.

Banishment is in the middle of having some rewrites done and will hopefully be available soon as well.  I want them to get out to you because I owe all of you.  I owe my readers the continuation of this series.  I not only owe it to you, I owe it to myself.

I am in no way trying to ignore how long this has taken or to make light of the hardships in life or even placate you by saying it's coming.  I just want to be as honest with my readers as I can.  I may not be the best writer in the world, and I'm sure many of you have only read the book because it was cheap and you thought, 'hey, why not'.  But it means a lot to me, and I want to do this for the few people who actually do care about the character.

There are no promises I can make about timeline or any of that.  But I will get this out to you.  One way or another.  I want it published not for just me, or you, but for the characters that I care about.

I am sorry it's been so long since I've said anything, and longer still since I've published.  But I will get this done.  So, good day from California.

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